Cup Party

Party!

Kind of!

I am currently on enough antibiotics to make a Belgian Blue hallucinate, so I will make today both short and sweet: I drew the Three of Cups again.

Last time I did, it was at a time when my S.O. and I had a number of things in the works. We’d initiated the process of moving into a new place, I’d finished some paintings, and we were working on getting a site up and running. This time, I’m pleased to say that these things are reaching their fulfillment — appropriate for the full moon, no?

The apartment is about done being renovated. I received proofs of the images of my paintings that I sent to the printer, and they look awesome. We have a business license, our site is up, and we’re happily posting bits and pieces of the story of The Teller of Fortunes. It’s time to celebrate!

(It’s the culmination of something else, too: filtering and bottling my raven oil. It takes me a year to make, and I set it up and filter it on October’s full moon. One of these days, I might get around to compiling my recipes and processes into something I can share. This one, in particular, is good stuff.)

Of course, while the full moon marks the culmination of a cycle, the waning moon comes right behind her. Next is the time to work on the tiny, unseen things, followed by the new moon, before the energy ramps up again. I don’t really have much that I need to work on this cycle (well, not externally, anyhow); there are plenty of balls rolling already, it’s time to see where they go.

 

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The Star Rises

The weather’s finally cooling (after an inexplicable 94°F) , the trees are starting to change. and I’ve watered my cacti for probably the last time until next spring. We haven’t had any more carbon monoxide scares so far, and, as soon as our next apartment is done being renovated, we’re pretty much ready to upgrade our space.

So, as per usual, I figured I’d do a one-card drawing to see where this week’s going. In the midst of all of this (much anticipated!) upheaval, it helps to have a little extra insight. I didn’t ask a specific question — just cleared my mind, let my thoughts arise as they would, and shuffled until I felt like that wasn’t something I needed to do anymore.

And… I drew The Star.

Not gonna lie, seeing it made me a little emotional. The Star is a tremendously positive card. It stands for hope and optimism, and, since it comes immediately after The Tower, it points to positive feelings that arise from the ashes of whatever was destroyed during The Tower’s phase. I haven’t exactly gone through the kind of things indicated by The Tower (well, not recently), but it still indicates a lot of hope for the future.

This is especially good to know because I started Sertraline. I’m afraid of taking pills, so I held off as long as I could, but my doctor(s) and I came to the agreement that it would most likely do more good than harm at this point. I’m only on a tiny dose to make sure I tolerate it alright, and it’s too soon to feel any difference yet, but I have hope that I might not have to go from medication to medication to find something that helps re-balance my neurochemistry. I was especially impressed that my psychiatrist was willing and knowledgeable enough to take my cerebrospinal fluid pressure into account when she prescribed it to me — I can’t tell you how many doctors I’ve had who either didn’t know enough about IH to realize that that was necessary, or shrugged off my concerns when I  brought it up.

The idea of taking it still gives me some anxiety, and my S.O. literally hid the first half-pill in a spoonful of applesauce for me so the action of taking it wouldn’t make things worse. (I know, I know.) As time goes on, I feel more optimistic, though. It’s good to know that those feelings aren’t misplaced.

It’s going to take some time for things to really smooth out, but so far, so good. Wish me luck.

Three-card Tarot Tuesday — 10.01.2019

Hello! This time around, we’ll be using one card from the Deviant Moon tarot, and one from The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit deck.

Relax, clear your mind, and choose the stack that calls to you. When you’re ready, scroll down to see what your cards have for you.


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Ready? Here we go!

Blue Lace Agate

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The Devil is a manipulator. He can represent a manipulative person, or an addiction, mental illness, or other situation that negatively affects behavior. He may serve as an indicator that a relationship or situation you’re in is not all that it seems, as a reminder that you have more agency than you may think, or as a warning that you need to take control of the direction your life is going.

Buffalo is a quintessential earth creature. He is grounded, but looks ahead and above. If there’s a bump in the road, he doesn’t get tripped up by it — his eyes are always on the path ahead. If you’re out of balance here, you might feel agitated or restless, or even experience ennui. You can come back into balance by maintaining your optimism and cultivating a spiritual practice. If you aren’t religious, try secular meditative or mindfulness exercises.

All told, it looks like you’re in a situation with someone or something that doesn’t have your best interest in mind. I’ve been there, and I know that things like that can bog you down and make it hard to see past whatever is controlling your life. Remember that you have power here. Keep calm, maintain an optimistic outlook, and work on a spiritual discipline. These things will help you stay strong while you work on finding a way out.

Yellow Calcite

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The Two of Cups is a positive card that points to harmony and emotional balance. Nice! It often points to a union in a romantic sense, but can also indicate an emotionally fulfilling partnership without any romance involved. Nice!

The Black Egg holds the truth. When you’re connected to its energy, you are free from cognitive dissonance and able to speak and act in accordance with your inner beliefs. You live authentically, with confidence and surety. When you’re not, you can find your confidence shaken, and may have difficulty expressing yourself, or find yourself saying the things you need to say in order to “fit in,” rather than what you truly feel. Now is a good time for introspection. What do you really think and feel? How does that match up with your outward behavior?

Together, it looks like this is a time in your life when you either are, or will be, experiencing inner and outer harmony. You likely have a romantic or platonic partnership that’s bringing you lots of fulfillment — if you don’t, expect to meet a new friend or partner soon. In your dealings with them, make sure you act from a place of truth. Are you in tune with the energy of the Black Egg, or out? Don’t worry about behaving inauthentically here, there’s no need. Whatever kind of relationship the Two of Cups represents is not going to dissolve just because you dared to speak your truth. You’ll be okay.

Moonstone

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The Hierophant! I have some mixed feelings about him, myself. While he represents an adherence to tradition that I usually find stifling, he also appeared right before I started on the path to practicing neodruidry. To you, he might represent a mentor of sorts, or someone who is very entrenched in their beliefs. He may also point to a situation where you are better off doing “the done thing” — follow protocol, and don’t rock the boat.

Zebra’s a ton of fun. Those with “Zebra energy” tend to be very creative, expressive, well-traveled people. As zebras are herd animals, Zebra people are also often found contributing to social or environmental efforts. When Zebra energy is out of balance, it may make you feel jaded — as if the wide world has nothing to interest you. Bring it back in balance by taking a trip, or exploring your creative side.

If your Zebra energy is out of balance, you might be reaching for something to help break that cynical, jaded feeling. Don’t go crazy here; indulge your creative, exploratory side. Take up a traditional artform, or take a trip to somewhere that holds significance to you. You might find yourself brought back into balance by finding an artistic mentor, or traveling to the homeland of your ancestors.

Hopefully, these cards have helped shed a little light. Have a good week!

The Libra New Moon (or, Man, That’s a Lot of Cups)

So, last week I drew the Ace of Wands. Aces represent beginnings and opportunities, and I definitely had my share: I started therapy, queued some posts on a new creative project that’s going live very soon, and went through my first (and hopefully only) carbon monoxide leak.

Yeah, I know. It can’t all be fried gold. At least I know I can kind of handle one if it happens again, and came to the realization that we really needed a different kind of CO detector. As it turns out, there is a lot of variability in what will make a CO alarm trigger. When you hear that beep, you can’t always be sure if it’s an “open the windows and turn everything off” 30 ppm that’s been going for the past seven hours or so, or an “evacuate immediately and call 911” 400 ppm that’s spiked in the past four minutes. This news was less than reassuring to me, so I picked out a new alarm with a display that reads in parts per million. Is it as accurate as the detectors the fire department uses? Probably not, but I still figure it can ballpark enough to help me save myself in an emergency.

You know that mental exercise where you’re supposed to reframe “have to”s into “got to”s? I’m trying to do that. It was terrible and terrifying, but everyone’s okay. I had to deal with a carbon monoxide leak, but I also got to see myself go through it and come out alright, and got the opportunity to learn more about how to better keep us all safe. It really could have been much, much worse.

Anyway, with this out of the way, let’s talk about the Libra new moon.

Like Aces, new moons are beginnings. A Libra new moon is a great time for balance, cooperation, and magic for anything related to the two — creative work, justice, partnerships, or balancing the emotions. Instead of doing my usual one card pull this week, I decided to find a new new moon spread to try out. I usually create my own on the fly, depending on the situation, but I do really enjoy seeing what others have come up with. (That’s why I keep a Pinterest board full of kickass spreads.) This time around, I chose this one from Emerald Lotus Divination.

So! Let’s see what we’ve got.

Position 1: What This New Moon Has in Store for Me

The Seven of Cups, from the Rider-Waite deck. Artwork by Pamela Coleman Smith. A silhouetted figure stands in front of seven cups. One holds a blue head, one has a glowing sheet ghost(???), one has a snake, one has a very tiny caste, one has either very excellent jewels or extremely terrible fruit, idk, one has a laurel wreath, and one has a very small blue dragon.

The Seven of Cups, from the Rider-Waite deck. Artwork by Pamela Coleman Smith.

The Seven of Cups. A figure (in my deck, a crow. In the Rider-Waite-Smith tarot, a dude) stands in front of seven cups, each filled with different things. It is up to the subject to choose the cups that hold good things, and not, like, snakes and creepy heads and bitey-looking blue lizards.

Many possibilities are open to me, and I have a lot of choices to make. This definitely tracks — October is going to be a month of big decisions and major upheaval. To make the best of these situations, I have to be proactive and make a choice. Fantasizing about some idealized situation is not going to put that cup full of jewels in my hand.

Position 2: My Energy During This New Moon

The Queen of Cups. Alright! As the suit of emotions, the Queen represents a figure that offers care and support. She can be the aspect of yourself that nurtures and provides you with self-care, or someone else entirely.

This card could represent my desire to take care of myself, or one of the people I’ve reached out to for help. It’s worth noting that both of my mental health professionals are female, so, while this position specifically asks about my energy during this new moon, my energy is also reaching out in search of a caring figure to help fix my brain. In either case, I’m reassured by the queen’s presence here — either I am making the nurturing, self-caring choice, or I am reaching out to someone who exhibits those traits. I need either (or both!) of those things right now.

Position 3: What I Need to Be Open To

The Page of Wands. He’s so happy with his giant walking stick. The Page of Wands is a playful figure, and may represent a charming, roguish person, or even just the arrival of good news. He is a bright, lovable, puckish, impetuous character.

I swear, I shuffled this deck well. Still, somehow, he is the only non-cups card I drew. To be honest, whether he represents a fun person or a piece of good news, I’ll take it. It’s hard to find a negative aspect of the Page of Wands (outside of his tendency to rush into things, but I think the Knight definitely has it worse). If this is what I need to be open to, I can handle that.

Position 4: Something That Wants to Manifest

The King of Cups. A kind, compassionate figure, he tempers his authority with understanding. He is calm, sympathetic, and good at listening.

At this point, I am actively trying to manifest emotional balance and creativity. The suit of cups stands for both, so I will take the King’s appearance as a sign that I’m on the right track. Coupled with the Queen of Cups and the Page of Wands, things are looking pretty good.

Position 5: How to Focus My Attention to Bring My Desires into Reality

The Three of Cups. Party on, my dudes (or dudettes, or dudes-as-in-men-and-not-as-a-gender-nonspecfic-term, or dudes-meaning-literal-city-dwellers-vacationing-on-a-ranch-and-pretending-to-be-cowhands). This card stands for reuniting with people from the past, or just straight up celebrating.

While this card can mean that I should party down and enjoy myself, it can also indicate that there’s a happy event to look forward to. In this case, it makes sense that I should both express gratitude and celebrate where I am and what I’ve achieved in life, and maintain an optimistic outlook and keep looking forward to the future. I think I can manage that.

All told, this reading feels great. I have choices to make, my energy is compassionate and nurturing (or attracting compassion and nurturing), I need to be open to fun people and good news, emotional balance is just waiting for the opportunity to manifest, and I should focus on celebrating the good times to achieve my desires. Sweet.

 

The Ace of Wands Comes Back.

I like Aces. They stand for a new beginning, and there’s nothing quite like that feeling of untapped potential — where everything is still possible, and nothing’s happened to screw it all up (yet). Getting an Ace in a reading feels pretty awesome.

If you’ve been reading my navel-gazey ruminations for awhile, you’ve probably seen that I draw Aces and Wands pretty frequently. It makes sense, in its own strange way: I’m at a point in my life where I have a lot of opportunities open to me, but not a lot of resources that allow me to take advantage of them. I feel like this is a bit different, though. Though Wands generally represent creativity, I feel like I’ve got a pretty good handle on the direction my creative endeavors are going in at this point.

On the other hand, this week I’ve got a new lease to sign, my S.O. doing new job things, and my first appointment with a psychologist.
My dance card’s pretty packed, and it’s all brand new.

So, knowing I had a ton of utter upheaval (good upheaval!) and turmoil (beneficial turmoil!) coming up, I drew this week’s card with that in mind. I’m already more anxious than I’m comfortable handling with the tools currently at my disposal, so a little reassurance than I’m not putting myself in a worse position by making these changes could go a long way.

The Ace of Wands card from the Rider-Waite deck.

From the Rider-Waite deck, illustrated by Pamela Coleman Smith.

I drew the Ace of Wands again. Before, it came at a time when I was seeking out help from another new doctor, and practically bursting with ideas. This time around, I’m seeking help from another new doctor (albeit of a very different kind), and making some significant changes to other areas of my life. This card is good news and a new beginning, and I could certainly use both!

So much of what’s happening with, to, and around me right now has a lot to do with my partner. In the context of love, the Ace of Wands represents a “next move” in a relationship — often one that breathes new life into it. It can be something like an engagement, marriage, pregnancy, or other move that feels like a step “forward.” I like to think my S.O. and I aren’t tired of each other yet, but I definitely agree that having more space and a change of scenery will make things more pleasant for the both of us.

Tomorrow’s a pretty big day. What do I do if I have anxiety about talking to a new doctor about my anxiety? It’s basically the worst kind of brainception.

 

Three-card Tarot Tuesday — 9.16.19

On the heels of yesterday’s one-card reading for myself, I wanted to do another one of these! Just like before, clear your mind, choose the row of cards that speaks to you, and scroll down to see what they have to say.

Unlike last week’s reading using the Deviant Moon deck, The Wild Unknown Animal spirit deck, and The Illustrated Herbiary deck, this week we’re going to use the Klimt Tarot. (The cards are gorgeous and very fancy looking.)

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Ready? Here we go.

The Top Left

The Three of Swords. Oof. You can tell by that lady’s face that she’s not too excited about anything going on right now — she’s naked and vulnerable, hemmed in with drawn swords at every side. The Three of Swords speaks of betrayal and heartbreak, of grief and loss. It indicates that this isn’t a very great time for you, either right now or in the recent past.

The Emperor can indicate an older man full of wise council; he’s someone you probably want to listen to right now. If he doesn’t point to a specific figure for you, he can signify your intellect and sense of logic overcoming your emotions. If you are still suffering through the grief and heartache indicated by the Three of Swords, he can help you through it with focus, stability, and the ability to keep your heart from getting away from you.

The Nine of Pentacles is one of the most positive cards in the deck. It points to financial independence. It is the finer things in life, and the hard work you’ve put in to achieve them. It is wisdom gained through experience, and the maturity that comes with time.

Overall, these cards point to a very emotionally difficult time. It’s going to take some doing, but, if you are open to listening to advice from those who’ve gone through it before and able to keep your heart from leading you into more trouble, you will reap plenty of rewards. Working to obtain stability for yourself now will yield tremendous dividends in the future. Keep yourself grounded, and things’ll be looking up soon!

The Center

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The Chariot is determination. It is overcoming obstacles through a sheer force of will. The Chariot, to put it bluntly, is not here to fuck spiders. Either now or recently, you have/had a real Situation to go through. Fortunately, The Chariot is a card of success — with enough focus, you’ll win. However, that success comes with a cautionary note: don’t allow yourself to develop too thick of a shell in the face of what you’ve gone through. Keep your vulnerability.

The Knave of Pentacles is a very positive card. Unlike the Knights, who signify movement and progress, the Knave is the preliminary step. It is figuring out what you want out of life, and what you need to do to get it.

The Magician indicates that whatever endeavor the Knave of Pentacles signifies will go well, but it’ll take a lot of intelligence, craftiness, and willpower on your part. Don’t worry, though — you have the skills you need. The woman here has a snake twined around her arm, but her expression is completely placid and unruffled. She knows she’s got this. So do you.

Altogether, these cards indicate that you’ve been in (or are in) a tough spot, but you’re pulling through. You’re tough enough to make it and, once you do, you’ll be in a place where you can lay the foundations for your future success. While The Magician says that you have all of the right stuff to pull off whatever you put your mind to, don’t forget — success is never guaranteed. You need to apply your cunning, ingenuity, and willpower in order to do it.

The Bottom Right

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The Three of Pentacles (isn’t this card pretty? I love this one) indicates a learning experience or opportunity. It could be a class, an apprenticeship, or a skill you’re honing. The young woman bends her head as she plays, focusing intently on the music. Still, even though her fingers pluck the strings, she wouldn’t be able to play without the efforts of the woodcutter, the harp-maker, or her music teacher. You’re working with others, setting the foundation for your future. Following Aces and Twos, Threes are the stage where you really start cooking with gas. It looks like you’re devoting a lot of your energy to this right now. Good! You’ll need to keep it up if you want to really grow and succeed.

The Ten of Pentacles is usually tied to very good things, financially speaking. It can point to a sudden influx of cash, or a general sense of a happy, stable family life. Whether you’re looking forward to a much-anticipated family reunion, about to have an inheritance drop in your lap, or otherwise, it paints a picture of financial and domestic harmony. Gold hangs from the boughs of a tree, heavy and abundant. Behind them, you can see the architecture of a grand, solid-looking building peeking through.

The Nine of Wands reversed points to a fear that others are out to get you, or a serious butting of heads that leads to a stalemate. It can also be a crumbling of your will — you might feel like you don’t have it in you to keep going, resulting in delays and setbacks on your path to reach your goals.

Taken together, these cards paint a picture of growth, learning, and a stable financial and familial situation. Unfortunately, it looks like you may run into obstacles that will make these things difficult to really experience. The Three of Pentacles points to opportunities for growth and learning, ones you may be taking full advantage of right now — don’t let your resolve wane, or you’ll begin slipping up. Similarly, having a stable and abundant life might make you want to rest on your laurels. Don’t let your drive to succeed weaken.

If you’ve had to hear some rough news, take heart. No tarot reading shows you an immutable future. Things can, and very likely will, change. These cards give you a snapshot of situations as they stand now, and a future that is likely if you remain on the same path. Good luck!

 

The Knight of Wands Returns

The Crow Tarot might give me a lot of Wands, Knights, and Aces, but now’s certainly a good time for ’em. (It also definitely means business when it comes to negative cards, so, to be perfectly honest, I was just happy not to have pulled the Ten of Swords again. Yikes.)

Anyhow, this week’s card is the Knight of Wands again, and man oh man am I glad to see him!

Last time, I mentioned that my S.O. and I had just finished a book, and were working on ways to turn it into something more than just a .doc file. Good news is, we’re making plenty of progress on that front! Not only are we fixing what needs to be fixed and polishing up what needs to be polished, we’re actually working on turning another manuscript we finished some time ago into a serial of some form. Though we’ve put a lot of thought into this process, neither of us have experience in publishing and none of my market research has been oriented in that direction. It’s definitely a fun learning experience, though! Besides, even if nothing comes of either of these things, I’m still happy just to have made them.

Speaking of which, I finished another painting this past weekend. Photographing them has been difficult because our overcast days have all been rainy — so, while the clouds do a great job at scattering the light and producing true-to-life color while keeping the glare down, the rain isn’t exactly easy to work around. Ah well. As the weather cools, hopefully we’ll have more cloudy days that aren’t accompanied by summer storms. I love collecting summer thunder water and the way the rain washes the pollen from the air, but I miss having dry surfaces!

The Knight of Wands stands as a reminder that enthusiasm and excitement are justified, but it’s a bad idea to get carried away with ourselves and jump headfirst into things we aren’t prepared for. Overall, it’s a very good omen. I’m going to be mindful to do my homework while my S.O. and I work toward creating the life we want to have. 💜