Let’s eat paste!

Okay, not really.

I haven’t written much lately, mostly because of two reasons:

  1. I was incredibly sick and felt like death, and
  2. It’s almost time for me to turn in all of the essays I’ve written over the past year for evaluation by whoever at ADF is in charge of that kind of thing.

So, in essence, I haven’t written much because I’ve been busy writing in between bouts of coughing and other assorted misery. I have done some other creative-type things, though, which is awesome. I’m in the process of moving my altar (hopefully to a place where cats can’t happen to it), too.

Anyway, you’re probably wondering what the paste bit is about. Let me explain.

Someone in a Facebook group I’m in linked an article about the antibiotic effects of turmeric and honey. While the alleged affects made me look extremely sideways at the whole thing, it did kind of get me thinking… Honey: soothing. Turmeric: anti-inflammatory. Could this be what I needed to get over this absolutely ludicrously long-lived cough?

Worth a shot. I go through turmeric like water anyway, because I am a child and like all of my food to be neon yellow. All of the articles I read espoused the virtues of raw, unfiltered honey with bee bits in it, or $30-a-jar Manuka honey, but, for the purposes of this experiment, I figured this stuff could get $8 orange blossom and like it.

a jar of honey and one of those weird honey spoons, you know the ones I mean

I don’t even have one of those weird honey dribbler things.

(There are some other, fancier versions, some with things like apple cider vinegar, cinnamon, and assorted other ingredients, but those are for people with time and functioning respiratory systems.)

The steps seemed pretty simple. Add turmeric to honey, put in a jar, keep someplace where bugs won’t get at it. Eat a half teaspoon every so often, ????, profit. I mixed up 2 T of turmeric powder into 4 ounces of honey, and let it sit. The suggested limit for turmeric powder is 1-3 grams per day, and a half teaspoon is about 1 gram. So, in the whole jar, there’s 12 grams. There are 48 half teaspoons in 4 ounces of honey, so that 12 grams is pretty well spread out, making it rather unlikely that I’m going to die suddenly and mystify some coroner with the shocking yellow hue of my internal organs. Good.

Over time, it seemed to condense into a strange, almost fluffy paste (probably courtesy of the peroxidase in the honey). My initial impressions of it were that it was the worst honey mustard I had ever tasted. My following impression was that it wasn’t really too bad for something I had thrown together in roughly twelve seconds. Besides, it’s not like I’m eating it for the taste, right?

As far as my cough, it does seem to be helping. I’ve been over the actual, “active” period of my cold for a bit, but the cough tends to linger in the form of raw, itchy, irritated lungs. I knew that any antibiotic activity was going to be pretty minimal, since I’m a) using whatever regular-ass honey I had on hand, b) using powdered culinary turmeric, not a standardized extract, and c) taking it internally, but it does seem to be quite soothing.

So, if you’re in a similar boat and looking for a way to keep from hacking yourself apart all night, maybe give this a shot. Or try a spoonful or two of good quality honey mustard. Or like three hotdogs, I’m not a doctor.

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